Leadership Lessons Learned

Circa 1981, The Who released “You Better You Bet”.  Debates ensued about whether it described the life of a rock n roller, a dysfunctional relationship, being grounded by realizations or limitations that existed, or was a love song from Townsend to his girlfriend at the time.  The song came about 16 years following what many consider to be their greatest hit, “My Generation”, and was their last top 20 hit.  It was well received despite being perhaps a bit more pop than other hits.

I remember it vividly as a teenager at the time of release.  It seemed light, peppy, fun, and even feel good.  I also remember diving into the lyrics by ear and by pulling through the inside of the album cover to read them as we all did prior to Lady Internet and Lord Google.  I was captured and enraptured by the fact that the response to “I love you” wasn’t the usual, if not expected, “I love you too”, but rather an abrupt “you better”, or the extended “you better, you better, you bet”.  It takes it to even another level with “you better bet your life, you better love me all the time now, you better shove me back into line now”.

What a powerful concept.  Speaking, sending, giving love, without receiving nor expectation of a parroted response, but with knowledge that was what was coming was the retort of damn right you do or should.  No graceful acknowledgement, acceptance, or return of fire.  Simply a firm, resolute, and proclaimed expectation of your adherence to the provision of it.

We often find ourselves seeking confirmation, affirmation, or even congratulations for our words, our expressions, or even our actions.  Perhaps the simple art of saying things, doing things, or providing things simply because we should and then being received with a stark reminder that we damn well better say that or do that would be a better place for us to reside.  Say, do, be, because of our intentions solely and not with expectation of return.

Much of this came to mind recently when quickly reading an email from the exceptional leadership author, speaker, and strategist, Erica Keswin.  It spoke of leadership traits exhibited in the Umubano gorilla family by their humanish leader Charles.  In brief the three qualities were to show love and support, to hold the others accountable with high behavioral expectations, and to create a culture of fun and playfulness with appropriate reins when necessary.  This immediately brought recall to my pouring through the lyrics of The Who when I was younger.  What a lesson for all of us as leaders and for all of us as members of a tribe, family, or community.  We can and should know there are expectations of us and we should realize it is okay to have expectations of others.  Find times and ways a million times over to show and proclaim support and love so people feel safe and appreciated.  Create bidirectional expectation of proclamations, expectations, actions, and beliefs.  Not for confirmation or affirmation, but simply because it is what you should do, or what you “better” be doing.

So, as we progress forward and resist slipping backward, and as we lead in days and the year to come, let’s ensure we do a few things incredibly well.  Let’s create communities of caring, of collaboration, and of conscience.  Let’s acknowledge, award and accelerate good tidings in words and actions towards others.  Do so not because you seek “you too”, but simply because “you better”.  In fact because, “you better, you better, you bet”.

Finally, as we all hopefully take on challenges to address the serious cliffs we are facing right now in healthcare, housing, and education, be reminded in the picture of Chapel Rock attached, from Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore, that the rock is still connected even though the arch collapsed in the 1940s and that the white pine on the rock is estimated to be about 250 years old.  So, as thin as things may appear, hold on, maintain connectivity, and appreciate the beauty of staying together and thriving for time to come.  I believe in us whether you say it back or not, mainly because, I better.

#itmatters #leadership #mission #mentorship