Leadership Lessons Learned

Whether you stay in the saddle for the full 8 seconds or get tossed in about 3 seconds like yours truly did, the bull (real or mechanical) is eventually going to win.  To stay on longer in the future, you need to pay attention to what allowed you to stay on for the time you did, but more than likely, you need to pay incredibly closer heed to what caused you to fall.

For some strange reason and despite my outward appearances at times, my blood pressure pretty much always stays the same.  Whether immediately before an operation or any other potentially stress induced times, its like clockwork.  Not what one would likely anticipate if they knew much about me.

Potentially this led to my being selected to take penalty kicks on just about every soccer team I ever played on, with my coach in the Empire State Games stating after kickoffs in practice that I might have been “one of the coolest cucumbers he had ever seen”.  End of my gratuitous back patting right here and now before all of your eyes roll right out of your heads. 

The reason for the share about that coach’s comments is that we did end up with a penalty being awarded in the semifinals to determine our place in either the gold medal or bronze medal game.  To cut to the chase, the coach put me on the line and being the cool hand Luke 17-year-old marksman that I was, I drilled the upright, we didn’t convert the rebound, and we ended up ultimately losing the game by one goal.  We then proceeded to lose the bronze medal game, so not only had I cost us the chance to play for gold, but ultimately, we went home sans any medal at all.  In my career through all levels I only missed one more in a game (after having made one just earlier actually that ultimately secured our 1-0 victory).  I probably made about 20 or so more over the years.  I’m not sure about that number because I don’t really remember all that much about any of the specific makes.  However, to this day, I can tell you every single aspect of both of the misses.  Not just the catastrophic one that cost my teammates and the region we represented a medal, but even the one that didn’t really impact the result at all.  My learning from every aspect of those misses far exceeded my learning from the makes.  Even helped me to coach others along the way on best practices.

For more humble pie, I could share many other failures and losses I vividly recall.  On large stages, or even when my collegiate freshman roommate Mark Atwood absolutely whooped me on an 8 mile out and back run we went on together.  When we turned at the four-mile mark, Mark asked if we should “pick it up” a little on the way back.  I ably shifted my legs into high gear for about the next two miles until Mark asked if we should crank it to finish strong, which I happened to have no extra gear or guts for.  Graciously told him to go ahead and get his fix, but still as much as any other run I’ve done remember every aspect of the out and the back that day, which probably changed the outcome or results of many a fun run or even a jog with a friend for years to come.

In business, we often spend a great deal of time celebrating our victories and successes, as we well should.  However, we need to make sure we analyze the process and the plays made by the team, by individuals, by the prospects or customers, and by ourselves personally to ensure we are gaining all that we should to reduce the chances of other losses.  The failures we endure and the learnings we take away from them will hone our swords and can position us in a better light for the larger battles to come.  There is a reason why many entrepreneurs or successful leaders will talk about how they failed their way forward.  I personally might not be able to help you with strategy or decisions or go forward plans to assist you in finding success, but I have probably made almost every single mistake one can make.  So many times, teammates have covered for me or have done magical work to achieve wins or successes, so my redemption of sorts was always trying to remember every single failure point or issues so I could improve for all parties in the future.  Helping others to avoid pains, pratfalls, or mistakes was probably one of the highest values I ever added to any cause, to any team, or to any opportunity.

If you are competitive, as I’ll personally admit that I am, you might not like to win all that much actually, but I’m guessing you absolutely hate to lose.  A potential consideration for you is to learn to love to lose so you can relish the learning and turn those precious lost opportunities into potentially gold (or at least bronze) down the line.  Love it, learn from it, lead through it, and bring your teammates, your region, your company, and your customers who will all benefit from your improvements the victory they deserve(d) to receive.   Perhaps the late great Tom Petty was onto something when he informed us that “Even the losers, get lucky some time”.

#itmatters #leadership #mission #mentorship